Sunday, January 5, 2014


So, I'm a little late on New Years. I just can't seem to get excited about New Years because that means December is over and January is upon us. And January is the worst.

First off, January starts with a hangover. No matter how much you sleep in or how little you drink ringing in the new year, you're going to feel like crap the next day. If you're lucky, you at least won't have to work so you can nurse yourself back to normal on the couch in your pajamas while watching the Rose Parade. And if you do have to work, you have my deepest sympathies and I hope your new year involves days off in a better time of year.

Then there are the resolutions. There is all this pressure to create a list of socially acceptable goals to 'make you a better person' even though it is widely accepted that no one actually expects you to complete said goals. I can't even remember my goals from last year, but they usually become obsolete so quickly as other, more pressing issues arise. My resolution for 2014? Find my car keys, which was completed January 1, thanks to my husband who actually found them. I can only go down from there, so I'm declaring all goals achieved for 2014.

It is isanely cold. Unless you are lucky enough to live somewhere that the temperatures are relatively constant year round (hi. Can I come visit? Tomorrow?), you're probably complaining about the weather right now. On Facebook. 

Along with the frigid temperatures, January always seems to have an overabundance of snow. Once the magical herald of the holiday season, snow in January is at best an inconvenience and at worst a constant reminder that spring is still a long, long ways off. And we really don't need anything else to remind us of that.

Thanks to all the cold, dry days my skin feels like it is being stretched out like Cassandra from Dr. Who, except I can't yell at people to "moisturize me!" whenever I need lotion. Yet.

Even though we are officially heading back toward spring and our days are getting incrementally longer, it's still dark leaving for and returning from work everyday, which is pretty much the most depressing thing ever. So even if you are lucky enough to get a brief reprieve from the blistering arctic air, you probably won't get a chance to enjoy it because it will be gone as soon as you leave work.

And finally, the glorious days of gluttony are a thing of the past. Since Halloween, i have been able to keep a near constant supply of candy, cookies, and desserts on hand without anyone giving it a second thought. Now, however, I get the stink eye if I my snacks aren't healthy, as though my poor food decisions may rub off on others. If only I were that influential.

Do you love or love to hate January? Feel free to complain away, it is Monday after all.

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